Reasons Why you should Manage your Anger

       

                                          

Are you among many of our generation who bear the brunt of their own anger? Anger management is crucial in our busy lives to lead a stress free life. Most of the times, it is not the situation but our reaction to it that aggravates the problem. But we hardly have time to give a deep thought to our anger management skills. No, this is not another article on deep breathing counting up to ten. It is simple notes on why you should consider your anger as a problem causing behavior.

“Holding on to Anger is like grasping hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else, you are the one who gets burned”  - Buddha

·                            Studies have shown that people who are affected by daily annoyances and are easily provoked to anger are at greater risk of having high blood pressure and heart disease.

·         The first step towards anger management is being able to point out the exact reason that made/makes you angry. Sometimes there might be more than one reason, it is important that you know the exact cause of your anger.

·                          Getting angry is a signal that means your patience with something that you were tolerating for long is over. But giving an extreme response to such a situation can hamper your relationships. For example, in a collaborative team work, your outrageous response may offend your seniors and turn your juniors against you. So it is the way you respond that matters.

·                            If anger is your usual response, you will not have many friends. It will spoil your relationships and there will be very less contribution of people in your life.

·         You must have realized that whenever you are angry, your thoughts become very narrow. Most of the times, it is self centered. When you are angry, go slow. Think slowly and react slowly. Let your anger come down then try to think of a solution.

·                              Top psychological Associations in the world recognize Deep Breathing as a technique to bring down anger. Pay attention to your inhaling and exhaling process and try picturing the air going to your diaphragm. This helps in combating both anger and anxiety.

·                          Listening to soothing music or seeing relaxing pictures helps. The sensations produced by these help relax the processes of the body. Move a step ahead of cinematic music and listen to Buddhist chants or Indian classical music.

·                             Stick an anger management quote on your wall and dwell on the thought for a couple of minutes every day. This will help you imbibe the thought and it will go down well in your mind with daily practice.

·                       Showing extreme angered behavior in front of kids affects their behavior pattern as well. They will eventually learn the same reaction to disturbing situations from their elders. In most families, parents who tackle difficult situations calmly, have kids who adapt the same pattern to deal with problems.

·                          Learn to be Assertive. Assertiveness is a technique and a skill that makes great difference to your communication skills and personality. It means expressing your thoughts, emotions, demands, fears etc clearly and effectively without offending the other person. It is observed that people who have such a skill are less bothered by anger and anxiety.

·                        Do not let disagreements turn into arguments by practicing assertiveness and improving your communication skills. Avoid using terms like “always” and “never” to accuse the other person. This usually worsens the situation.

·                        Do you find it very difficult to get over a hurtful remark? Do you throw or damage objects when angered? If yes, then you should consult a doctor for treatment. These are usually signs of depression. Medication and counseling helps manage depression to great extent.

·         What to do after you lost control temporarily despite of trying to control your anger?

Apologize. Say that you are sorry for behaving that way. Also, prepare yourself for another similar episode of anger in future. Tell yourself that the next time you get a similar situation you have to choose a different and more constructive reaction.

           Talk about your anger. Share your feelings and frustrations with a friend or a counselor. Do not dwell on the damage you did because of your anger. Just share your feeling, understand your thought process, and prepare yourself for future. Do not regret for long time.

For healthy professional and personal relations your inability to control anger can be damaging and distressing. It is very important you adapt a calm mental disposition instead of being provoked easily and to extremity. Do not shy away from taking a personal counseling session. It will help discover the obscure side of your anger for better anger management.