One Year Of Living the New Normal

Which of These Types of Parenting is yours? And What it will lead to?

According to Psychological research, there are various approaches to parenting adapted by parents. Diana Baurmind is the first among researchers to identify two broad dimensions namely responsiveness and demandingness. 

                                         

The first category, responsiveness is about how much a parent gives attention to a child’s needs and thoughts and the extent to which he himself shares his thoughts and feelings with the child. In another words this is nothing but the warmth one provides to the reciprocative relationship between the parent and the child.

The second type is demandingness which has the parent resorting to rules and being demanding to the child to follow them and behave in a particular manner. This can also be termed as “control” pattern of parenting.

Now the above mentioned two categories combining together manifest into four main patterns of behavior among parents. Some parents possess both the qualities i.e. responsiveness and demandingness. These parents are called “authoritative” parents. A second group exercises very less control on the children and provide more warmth than is necessary. This group is known as “permissive” parents. A third group has less of warmth and high control. Such parents qualify as “authoritarian” parents. And the final group of parents are low on both warmth and control. They are called as “uninvolved” parents.

            

Each type gives us specific behavior patterns from the parents with different results in development of the child. Authorative parents are healthily involved in their children’s activities. They themselves show their affection towards children and encourage children to show the same. But they also give equal importance to disciple in the child’s live. Combining affection with disciplining, they explain the rules and tell the child to follow them in an encouraging manner. They explain to the child the reason why there is need for rules.  They also make it clear why the child deserves punishment for not obeying rules. They are mostly the accepting of the child’s strengths and weaknesses. This is the way they adapt to instill discipline in the child.

Permissive parents exercise little control and allow most of the things that child demand from them. They are affectionate and involved actively in the child’s life. They value the child’s independence in choice of toys and his choice even in daily routine. There are few standards set by them for the child’s behavior. Having negligible rules at home, they do not bother to see whether the child obeys them or not.

                  

                                              

Authoritarian parents have a more distanced approach towards their child than the previous two groups.  Their style of parenting is centered around their own needs not on those of the child. They do not openly express their love and affection nor do they encourage the child to do so. They do not offer any explanation for rules or punishments. They believe in punishing the child strictly is necessary for his development.

The last style of parenting, “Uninvolved”, are largely negligent towards the child’s progress. Although they take care of his security, they do not believe in knowing him or participating in his activities. They lack affection in their behavior and show inadequate control or disciplining. Taken to extremity, this kind of parenting often results in neglected children.

The resultant gradual outcomes of all the four types are quite predictable. Generally the healthiest children result from authoritative kind of parenting. They are extremely sociable and open minded towards friends and even their competitors. They show a high level of self confidence in all their activities. They are independent thinkers and are ready to take their decisions on their own. They are responsible individual and have a good control of their life. They are satisfied with their performance in school and life in general.

On the other hand, the children of permissive parents show less motivation towards achievement. Their behavior is usually very less achievement oriented. They show less emotional maturity or emotional intelligence. They tend to be more impulsive than rational and have little control over frustrating situations. These children neither show an inclination to stand on their own feet nor the propensity towards hard work.

In case of the children of authoritarian parents, there is very low self-confidence in all levels of performance. They often perform low according to their capabilities. In fact, they show little awareness towards their own qualities and strengths. More over their lack of interest in social contact tend to make them introverts. They are prone to developing anxiety disorders and loneliness. They do not enjoy the company of elders.

Children resulting from uninvolved parents show the worst development. These children grow up into very temperamental and cranky individual with little self confidence and ability to deal with their emotions. They are largely unhappy in life and show aggression at times. Teenagers are likely to get drawn towards alcoholism and other addiction.

For parents who want to know the outcomes of their way of parenting, this study by Diana Baurmrind can be helpful. All a child needs is affection and involvement from the parent’s side. While that does not mean you don’t need to set rules. Infact, involve your children in rule making too. In child development there is equal importance for affection and discipline which means a healthy combination of the two creates happy individuals.