Prayer Is My Answer

I booked my tickets for Kerala on this weekend. As a homemaker and working woman, today morning, I had a few things to do before my departure tomorrow. Even at office too, there are new responsibilities. And life's swinging between work and home. Stress? Of course, it is a part and parcel of life.

Now what? I dressed and got ready to leave for work but then decided to take few minutes off to just relieve myself of the stress. I played the "Ohm" chanting mantra on my phone which I always find relaxing. Honestly last night I did not get good sleep. In fact, I was experiencing frequent restlessness and small bolts of anxiety. My trip to Kerala was not just for Vishu festival celebration but for a long pending meeting with Guruvayoor Srikrishna. That's where my family carries it's wishlist to. I was planning this trip to seek the almighty's blessings.

So, back to my sofa chair where I am trying hard to stay still bit longer as the "Ohm" chanting now reverberates in the room.

I try to feel the music to cool down my nerves. I suddenly relive the feeling of praying. I try to feel the same feeling of tranquillity when you try to submit yourself completely to feel relaxed. Then a realization struck me.. I have not prayed since a long time. I have not been to temple since long time. I have not lit a lamp in my Puja room since long. And I was gonna travel miles to meet the Lord.

When my mother expresses her wish to go to hard journeys of pilgrimage, I wonder whether someone finds bigger inner peace after such a journey. I remember an example my teacher used to mention. The Kasturi dear wanders in the jungle to find the fragnant kasturi. He wanders and wanders. But will he ever find it? The fragrance is actually coming from it's own belly button.

I have been in this situation before. I lose my connection with the creator often. It's not about going to temple. It's actually about praying. Speaking to the Lord and feeling his existence in you not in the temple on the hill-top.

The Ohm chantings continued. I smiled at my folly. Invoked the lost connection. Begged for pardon and began my prayer.

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